PG$E Reviews First “Power Appreciation Week”

SAN FRANCISCO — PG$E, after a week-long marketing effort to encourage California residents to appreciate the power of electricity, is making a thorough review of its first “Power Appreciation Week.” This innovative stealth marketing strategy is part of the bankrupt utility’s effort to improve relationships with its customers. This latest campaign affected millions of residents across Northern California and was designed to illustrate just how important electricity is to their daily lives. 

Marketing spokesperson for the progressive company, Felinze Karanot, said Power Appreciation Week was a complete success: “We cannot overlook the importance of electricity in this modern world. Whether or not PG$E takes care of the grid and transmission lines is of little importance. The real crux of the matter is whether we, as citizens, appreciate electricity in our lives or whether we take it for granted. I think Power Appreciation Week is an opportunity to be grateful for what is left of the grid—to say nothing of the exciting power surges that can occur when we reactivate the lines!”

Further inquiry into the origins of Power Appreciation Week reveal that the idea stems in part from the hurt feelings of the company’s upper management. One unnamed vice president said, “our customers seem to think that this [stuff] will always course through the lines. So we need to wake our customers up to the fact that we’re not just a bunch of robots. We have feelings.” After taking swig from a bottle wrapped in brown paper, the vice president added, “And when customers say things like ‘PG$E sucks because those houses in San Bruno blew up,’ well, that hurts.”  

PG$E customer surveys will be sent to affected households to get their take on the first ever Power Appreciation Week. Those who respond will receive PG$E-branded flashlights, transistor radios and MREs.

 

Suzanne Carroll