Mark Zuckerberg Wants to Know Why He Wasn't Invited to Your 4th of July Party

Hey. Hi. How was your 4th of July? Mine? It was pretty chill. I slept in until about 10. Made some tea. Ate some Rice Krispies. TNT was showing The Social Network back-to-back, so I watched that a couple times. I took a bath, then a nap. Then I showered. Left a voicemail with my lawyer. Drank some tequila and reached out to some exes. Watched The Social Network again. Called my lawyer again to make sure she got my previous message. Ate some leftover Chinese food, took another shower. By then I was pretty tired. I bet I was in bed by 8, and sound asleep by 8:03.

Looks like you had a fun 4th, too. I saw the party photos you posted on Facebook.

Oh, you’re surprised. Probably because we’re not Facebook friends, and your settings have it so only your friends can see your posts.

Anyway.

A lot of people we work with at Facebook were invited, huh? That’s cool.  Both my Executive Assistants… dancing… not answering my texts. Looks like Steve, Tiff, and Lisa also made it, along with Trent the intern.

I see my mom was there. And my dad. And my sisters. And the Winklevoss twins. And Jesse Eisenberg. And Aaron Sorkin.  Was that my wife and daughter? I could only see the backs of their heads.  

Did Lady Gaga actually give a house concert?

You’re looking a little awkward. Don’t worry about it! My bad for not checking my spam folder for the Evite. Or maybe you just typed the email wrong. Remember, it’s Zuckerberg with an e-r-g, not a u-r-g. People are always making that mistake.

For future reference, let me give you my email address, just so you have it. I have a couple of addresses actually, and they all sync to the same inbox, so take your pick: markzuckerbergforever@prodigy.net, zuckerlicious@earthlink.net, zuckingitup@aol.com, zuckyour privacy@facebook.com,  and mzuckerberg5@harvard.edu.

Any one of those should work.

Happy Friday!

Kate JamesComment