Point Reyes Elk to be Relocated, Issued New Identities

By John Doe PT REYES STATION, CA — In response to the National Park Service proposal to kill 10-15 elk in the free-roaming, Drakes Beach herd, Rep. Jared Huffman is calling for the doomed elk instead to be relocated to tribal and private lands and issued new identities.

“These elk need a new start without fear of reprisal,” Huffman’s spokesperson, Rena Pickens said. “For weeks, these creatures have been living in fear, forced to blend in with their surroundings; to stand perfectly still at the sound of every snapping twig; while receiving not-so-veiled death threats in the form of ‘gift‘ boxes of venison jerky and reflective safety vests.

Local private ranchers have denied responsibility for the harassment, but as one rancher, who preferred to remain anonymous put it, “there’s just too many of ‘em out there. I’ve started driving around with my brights on—you know, for safety. I don’t want to accidentally hit something.” The smile on the rancher’s face as he said this, along with his t-shirt which read “hunting season” under a silhouette of a deer in cross hairs, made this reporter doubt his sincerity.

The National Park Service is open to the idea of relocation with new identities, but only “if practical.”

Public comments on the options can be submitted through Sept. 23. The park will then draft a final version of the environmental review.

Drew MeritComment